


Till She Cries No More

by etoilecourageuse



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etoilecourageuse/pseuds/etoilecourageuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Narcissa finally marries the man she loves, a dream seems to come true, but soon that dream of a new life beside her beloved Lucius turns into a nightmare, and there is no way of escaping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Till She Cries No More

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Prompt #70: Someone is being molested/harassed by an authority figure, and no one believes them. It keeps happening, and they can't figure out how to get it to stop and how to get people to see the truth.
> 
>  
> 
> First of all, thank you SO much, Mab and Writ, for hosting my favourite fest of the year and being particularly patient with me - you guys are the best; and thanks again to Mab for the beta! This whole fic turned out so much different to what I imagined it to be at first and, as always, went its entirely own way - but I’m still quite happy with the final result!

It was supposed to have been the most beautiful day of her life. It was supposed to have been the beginning of everything, the beginning of what promised to be a time full of glory, full of love, full of excitement. It was supposed to have made her the happiest woman in the world.

The day Narcissa Black shed her old name to become Narcissa Malfoy had been supposed to be this, this and so much more, as finally, finally her bond to Lucius, _her_ Lucius, was to be sealed, as finally they would become husband and wife, never to be apart until Death came for them at an old age, taking them not one by one but together. It was supposed to have been the most beautiful day of her life.

Narcissa often thought of her mother, often remembered the days of childhood in which she had sat at her bedside and held her hand, speaking to her so quietly until she fell asleep, spinning the most beautiful, the most fantastic tales of how bright her future would be, of how one day she would conquer the entire world, and of Father.

Mother had been so lucky to marry the man she loved, more than anything else in this world, so lucky and so happy. But their time together had been brief, as Cygnus Black was taken from the world too quickly, too cruelly, leaving his wife behind with three infant daughters, a widow at twenty-four. Narcissa had never known her father, yet _Maman’s_ eyes would still begin to shine as she spoke of him, still the hint of a smile would pass her lips.

She had been so lucky to marry the man she loved. Narcissa had envied her mother at first, had been so selfishly concerned about her own future as she thought of her sisters: Bellatrix who was trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who would scarcely take notice of her, Andromeda who had so foolishly claimed what was not hers to claim and betrayed them all…

But Lucius had caused her to forget about everything. Lucius had taken her worry from her at a stride. The way he looked at her, the way he spoke to her, touched her, kissed her with such tenderness… It felt as though only with him was she complete. Perhaps she would be as lucky as _Maman_ , she thought, and perhaps even luckier.

Lucius Malfoy was a good man, an honourable man whose ancestry was impressive, nearly as impressive as her own, whose family was well-respected throughout the entire country. It was a perfect match, truly, nearly too perfect; of course a wedding was inevitable, and yet when on the day he took her hand and sank to his knees, Narcissa felt as though she was dreaming, as though one of her mother’s stories was about to come true at last.

Of course she was familiar with the tales of Abraxas Malfoy’s cruelty, of course she had noticed Mother’s eyes widen as she spoke of marriage for the first time, of course… But Narcissa had been blinded by love, had been so foolish in her youthful naivety, believing that surely he would never harm his daughter-in-law. If only she had seen. If only she had sensed…

It was supposed to have been the most beautiful day of her life, the day she and Lucius vowed never to leave one another’s side… And it had been, so full of laughter, so full of tears, tears of joy and emotion… It had been. Until night fell.

 _He_ had been waiting for her in their bedroom. Lucius had noticed his young wife’s exhaustion, had sent her to bed with a gentle smile, the unspoken promise that he would soon join her sealed with a kiss. Narcissa was glad that he had noticed, would otherwise have forced herself to stay awake, for him, her husband… But now she would gladly follow his advice, would prepare for the night and wait… They had slept with each other before, of course they had, and not bothered to hide what could not possibly be hidden, but still… Still, how would their past experiences compare to what lay ahead of them on this very night? It would be beautiful, so beautiful… Darkness filled the room as she entered, not realising at first that she was not alone…

Abraxas had smiled, too.

*

At first she had screamed. At first, Narcissa had screamed, cried and begged for relief, begged for help where none could be given… At first she had screamed, had been ashamed, so ashamed, incapable afterwards of even of looking into her husband’s eyes as it felt like a betrayal to him, an unspeakable betrayal. The first night… It all had begun on the first night… Hadn’t he heard her, hadn’t he heard her desperate cries? Hadn’t he noticed the sudden change, the…?

He had noticed nothing. Nothing at all.

Silence. She would keep her silence, silence that seemed to crush her, and yet… Yet, whom should she speak to, why should she raise her voice if it would change nothing, nothing at all? She loved him, loved her Lucius so beyond belief, if they were to be torn apart… No. No… Whom should she speak to, who would believe her? Her mother, who had been so happy for her as she seemed to recognise herself in her daughter, so happy and yet saddened that even her little Cissy had now left her childhood home, that from this moment on she would spend her days alone, lost in distant memories of Father? Should she tell her sister, who seemed to have lost any interest in her family, or her husband, Lucius himself, who was so full of admiration for his father, who spoke of him so fiercely, with such intense loyalty? Whom should she speak to? Whom should she tell, who would be capable of protecting…

None of them would protect her, none of them would ever know. She needed to protect herself.

Abraxas seemed to take pleasure in her screams, seemed to savour her tears, her begging and the incessant trembling of her body… But Narcissa would not give him what he wanted, would not allow him the satisfaction of breaking her…She would not break. She would not break. Never. Would it ever come to an end, though? Would he ever let go of her, grow tired of her if he noticed her lack of resistance, her lack of despair, would she ever be free?

Each day was the same, each night was… Each day was the same, a torment, a nightmare that could not possibly be real and yet was nothing but the truth. It felt as though years ago she had looked so deeply into Lucius’ eyes and spoken the word, the word that meant everything, as though years ago her father-in-law had waited for her in the bedroom for the first time, so eager to destroy her, but it could be no longer than a month, perhaps two… Narcissa had lost any feeling for time.

She would not break. Narcissa would not break. But her strength was fading fast, and it caused her such pain, physical, emotional, to go on, to smile as though she was all right, as though nothing had happened, as though she was happy. Happy… Hadn’t she desired nothing more than to be happy? Was this to be her punishment now, the punishment for her selfishness, for…? Happy…

No. She would not be fool enough to believe this was punishment, to believe that perhaps it was her own fault. She would fight, battle against this terrible injustice… She would speak, _needed_ to speak, needed to break her silence, as otherwise she would fall apart after all, incapable of going on, as otherwise Abraxas Malfoy would receive what he wanted. She was stronger than this, so much stronger… Narcissa would not break. She would fight, fight and not surrender. 

But how?

*

It felt as though Lucius had turned into stone. All of a sudden, there was nothing left of his gentle features, all of a sudden, the love seemed to have disappeared from his eyes. All of a sudden, he looked so much like his father. Narcissa had been afraid, so afraid to speak, so afraid to tell him… But what other choice did she have? Days had passed, turned into weeks, weeks of such unspeakable agony, weeks of such suffering… Abraxas Malfoy’s cruelty seemed to know no boundaries and yet she knew that it was only the beginning, the beginning of what he would do to her if anybody… She dared not finish her thought. Days had turned into weeks before Narcissa found the courage to speak to her husband at last, her voice quiet and trembling.

 _There is nothing to be afraid of,_ she had silently told herself over and over again until she had begun to believe that it was the truth. There was nothing to be afraid of.

Didn’t he love her after all? Hadn’t he made countless promises, countless vows that he would give her anything she desired, that he would never allow any harm to come to her, that he would protect her, always protect her? Didn’t he love her?

It felt as though he had turned into stone. He would not speak, but merely listened until she lowered her head and even the last words faded from her lips, then he rose from his chair and turned away.

“I shall hear no more of this, Narcissa,” he said, his voice cold, cold as it would only be were he speaking to those he deemed beneath him… It was not until three days after that she laid eyes upon her husband for the next time, and he seemed to have forgotten that they had ever spoken of such a matter.

The disappointment seemed to tear her apart at first, disappointment and anger that so soon Lucius would break his vow, that he would do nothing but look at her, look at her with such disbelief, such disdain… He had promised, promised to protect her… He had promised! But how could he protect her if he did not believe her, how could he protect her if it was his own father who…

How could he possibly defy him? How could he possibly defy Abraxas Malfoy, how… If only she hadn’t told him. But no. No, even if Abraxas was his father, even if he seemed incapable of believing her words, he would not betray her in such a way, would not have told him… He would not.

That night, for the first time, Narcissa did not bother to heal, to cover her wounds. That night she did not bother to conceal what had happened to her, as though she held the silent hope that Lucius would see her, and awaken.

Perhaps she was truly meant to fight this battle alone, perhaps it had a reason that… Bella would be of no help either, she knew, would at most look at her and then laugh, shake her head and laugh as she traced her wand over a fresh bruise upon her own skin…

“Welcome to reality, little Cissy. Life is not a fairytale.”

A fairytale. A fairytale, as Mother had so often… Mother. Oh, how desperately Narcissa wanted to spare her mother more agony, more suffering, how desperately… Hadn’t she gone through enough, hadn’t life been so cruel to her, by taking her husband from her at first, and then her daughters, one by one? How desperately she wanted to spare her…

But she was her only hope. _Maman_ was her only hope. She would surely believe her, would recognise the signs… Would recognise herself. Narcissa was not supposed to know. She was not supposed to know that her mother, too, had known pain, such unspeakable pain inflicted on her by the man who had raised her, the man she had once trusted the most… Narcissa was not supposed to know and yet one night, shortly after Andy had left, she heard the cries, Mother’s despairing, sorrowful cries in her sleep, heard the words that were never meant to be spoken… She was not supposed to know. But _Maman_ would believe her. She would believe her…

*

It felt as though he had read her mind. It felt as though he knew about her intentions to visit her mother, as though he knew about everything… How he smiled, smiled at her in such a horrifying way, silent, always silent, silent save for his laugh… He was so much taller, so much stronger than her. He would nearly choke her to death as he pushed her to the bed, his hands so close to her throat…

If he were to end it all, if he were to take her life at this very moment, it would take no longer than a minute, but why should he? Why should he end his puppet’s life if he took such endless pleasure in her suffering?

How could she have a chance to refuse? How could she have a chance to free herself, perhaps to reach for her wand, to… Countless times Narcissa had imagined overwhelming him, to wait for a moment of inattention and to overwhelm him, to make him the puppet and her the mistress… But how?

It felt as though he had read her mind, as tonight he spoke after he had released her at last, pushing back her bleeding, trembling body mere minutes before her husband would join her in bed, spoke to her for the first time in his low, menacing voice…

“She is no longer your mother. You shall never see her again.”

Mother… Mother! Lucius… Lucius, her Lucius, her once-so-tender, once-so-sweet Lucius… Why wouldn't he help her, why wouldn’t he see? Why wouldn’t he believe her? Why… Hadn’t he always liked, _adored_ Druella Black? Hadn’t he always enjoyed their conversations, their moments together as he visited Narcissa in her home? Why wouldn’t he help her?

_You shall never see her again._

Never… Never again… Narcissa had sworn herself never to scream and yet she did, could no longer hold back, could no longer hold back her tears. What would he do to prevent her from seeing her dear _Maman_? What _could_ he do? Mother… Her sweet mother… He could not, he could not possibly… She would not allow him! Mother… She was strong, stronger than this, they both were stronger… Hadn’t they always been so connected? Hadn’t they always shared such an intense bond, a bond that were to be separated by no one, nothing, nothing at all? So how could he then… 

Of course he could. How naive she was to assume otherwise.

*

Abraxas Malfoy was no fool. He would never lay hand upon his daughter-in-law to beat her, to punish her for disobedience but merely waved his wand to cause an invisible force to draw out the torture for him, to do such unspeakable things to her…

At times Narcissa desired nothing more than to leave, to turn her back to all this, to run away and never to return, never to look back, never to think of her husband again… But how could she? How could she if what was supposed to be her home was truly a prison, how could she if she was trapped, trapped and never permitted to leave unless accompanied by Lucius or Abraxas himself?

Lucius… Was he truly oblivious to all these happenings, was he truly blind in his adoration for his father? Did he truly not realise? When had been the last time he spoke to her, looked at her and saw her, truly, when had been the last time he smiled at her, touched her? How could he possibly have changed, changed so beyond belief within merely a couple of weeks, where had he gone, the gentle man she had so adored? How could she have been so mistaken? This was not him, this was not her Lucius… This was not the man she loved.

Love… Of course she loved him still, would always love him… But did he love her, too? How weak she was… How incredibly weak she was for caring, caring still, caring too much… He did not believe her. He did not believe his own wife’s words, closed his eyes to the truth…

Narcissa knew better than to defy her father-in-law, as each word could not only endanger her own life (she had long ceased to care about her life, was no more than a shell of her former self, a ghost, empty, weary from the constant battle for justice and freedom, a battle she seemed to be destined to lose) but her mother’s, too. If her mother was to be harmed… She would never forgive herself. Never.

_She is no longer your mother. You shall never see her again._

Happy… How happy she had been supposed to become… She knew better than to defy her father-in-law and yet… Yet, one night her desire to escape grew intolerable, one night she would dare what she had so constantly dreamed of… She would leave, leave and not look back, would take her mother’s hand and together they would leave… Together they would forget.

*

She had left. Narcissa had left, truly, but she had been too reckless, too elated by the thought of freedom… Of course it hurt her, hurt her to leave Lucius behind, of course she loved him, still believed that perhaps one day… Of course she loved him. But she had left.

Abraxas had been waiting for her as though once again he had read her thoughts, sensed where she was about to go, as though he knew, knew everything… He had been waiting for her, had laughed his terrible laugh and taken her hand, so softly, so carefully as though he were concerned for her, as though she were a lost child, having run away from her home.

He had been waiting for her, had spoken to her so tenderly… But as soon as they had stepped into the eerie, familiar halls of Malfoy Manor, Narcissa was pushed to the ground, her head hitting the marble floor with a disgusting cracking noise. As soon as they returned to the house that had never been her home, she realised that her true nightmare had only just begun.

Unconsciousness would come to her more than once yet he would never allow her to drift, would never allow darkness to claim her, would never allow the pain to fade as he took her, as he... Lucius was nowhere to be found, had no part in this, was perhaps truly oblivious. He was nowhere to be found… He did not know.

“Running away with your mother…” her father-in-law spat, and as she looked at him she saw his face contorted into a grotesque grimace, saw the madness within his eyes as he flung a small envelope at her. “Your mother is dead. She died weeks ago. You are mine now. You have been mine since you laid eyes on my son for the first time.”

So soon he left her, left her as though nothing had happened, knowing that she had no longer the strength to run away, left her right there on the floor, incapable of moving, her entire body shaking, spasming in pain. What he had done to her… What he had done to Mother… Mother… Dead… No… No! She could not, she could not be dead! It was a lie, a cruel lie, she could not… Mother… She could not…

Hours seemed to have passed when, once more, Narcissa could hear steps, so faint, so far away.When, instinctively, she closed her eyes as though the darkness would protect her from what lay ahead … Yet the hands that touched her were not cruel but gentle, and even blindly she recognised Lucius, recognised her husband who lifted her into his arms with all the care in the world, who carried her up the stairs and to their bed, who seemed to be trembling, too.

“I promised to protect you, Cissy…” he murmured, as though in the belief that she were unconscious, incapable of hearing him. “I promised to protect you and I failed…”

When for the first time in what felt like an eternity she looked at her husband then, she could see the fear within his expression, could see the endless sorrow. When Narcissa looked at him at last she noticed the bruise upon his right forearm, the bruise that he so quickly attempted to cover... And realised. She realised, so suddenly. What a fool she had been, to believe that she was alone, what a damned fool. He had never admired his father, never… And he, too, was a prisoner. 

What other choice had he had, than to deny the truth, than to close his eyes to what was so obvious? What other choice had he had? He would have broken, broken so many years before. 

Mother. Still, her thoughts were circling about Mother, sweet _Maman_ who could not have left this world, who could not possibly be dead… She was so young, so young still… She could not… Tears began to spill from her eyes slowly at first, and she would have sobbed had she had the strength… Mother… No… She could not… It was a lie, it was a lie! It had to be a lie… A cruel game played by her father-in-law to break her after all…

Lucius would no longer speak, but still held her, held her so tight… Even as the door to their bedroom opened, even as their brief moment of peace was so forcefully interrupted he held her, his arms protectively covering her injured body. He held her, and Narcissa knew that he would never let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment here or return to [Livejournal](http://hp-darkarts.livejournal.com/117046.html)


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